A Letter to My Love That Was

Dear Love,

I write to you with a honest reckoning in my heart. You have all but eluded me in this lifetime. I went out  in search of magic. In need of some magic. But came back with a million questions. Magic is never in our control and neither are the events that shape our destinies. I often reached out, but you slipped out of my grasp. Probably I wasn’t holding tight enough. I often retraced those steps back to you. They are etched in my memory. Even if I want to erase them, I can’t. The memory of your touch and words has become an ever-deepening wound that takes on fresh color every day and refreshes me with a new pain every now and then. I see faces in the crowd. I hear laughter ringing out. I close my eyes at night, and try to block every sound from within. If I could look into your eyes again, I would probably be reassured within seconds of my love. But I often wonder, whether you would feel the same. My anger at the ruins blinds me and makes me go into a daze. For days, I move and breathe, without knowing why, without understanding how. A dream from the past disturbs my sleep often. I wake up at night searching for you in the darkness. They say the time wasn’t right. Probably it wasn’t. I can only pray that if you don’t come to me in this life time, I am granted another – where the time is right and we meet again.




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